Girl the Impaler

by Patience Dear Juggernaut

Girl the Impaler cover art
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Vocals, pianos, guitars, bass, brass, strings and drums Cameron Aquino

credits

released 08 November 2011
Written, performed and recorded by Cameron Aquino
CD Artwork by Cj de Silva

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Track Name: Beta Male
Will I find in my mind the nerve I crave?
Will I be brave, keep the faith and leave the cave?
I don't have money or much time in the world
Still I'm planning to save you from imminent danger!

Will I climb and defy Mt. Everest
Will I swim on a limb I'll never rest
Until I hear your voice on the phone
I'm a lone, I'm a lone I'm a lone, Lone Ranger

I'm gonna go where you go, Penelope
Wherever the discus may land /
Whatever is writ in the sand
I gotta perfect my flawed anatomy
I'll be your Vitruvian man
I'm gonna go go go go on a rodeo
I'm gonna go go go go to the final show

Will I dig and unearth sarcophagus
Will that stop me from bein' anonymous?
I'm not that famous no I don't belong
Still I'm chuggin' along to absolute danger

Will I face a brigade of renegades?
Never fear, I am here, your beta male
I'm not goodlooking nor Sylvester Stallone
I'm a lone, I'm a lone I'm a lone, Lone Ranger
Track Name: Forget About Her
My, oh, my, there are a million guys
Who've set their sights on Lorelei
Should one pursue or should one just forget about her?

My, oh my, there's mystery in her eyes
The boys will try but I'm quite shy
I'll catch the flu, stay in bed and forget about her...

My, oh my, she makes me feel alive
I can't describe what's in my mind
It's not a funny thing to be so in love with a girl

My, oh my, I really dig her style
Mind if I breathe out a sigh?
Should one just hang around, come close and hold hands with a girl?

My, oh my, her stare is like a knife
I can't define to save my life
What kind of pretty face can take me away from the world?

My, oh my, the object of desire!
My beating heart, you are such a liar
Save me from hurricanes that take me away from the world
Track Name: How The Numbers Work
You, I reckon you misread the written signs
Well, here's a record of the times you were unkind
Please kindly step behind the dotted line
I'll give you credit for the times you've tried
To give a final answer to the question that bothered my mind

If we can shake the world
And find out in the summer
Now that's how the numbers work

If we can fake it
And pretend we're past the trauma
Now that's how the numbers work

Sunshine
It's living in the mind, in the mind

You, you've stolen di'monds and committed crimes
Well, here's a demonstration of what I can find
Please make me pocket all the golden lines
I'll give you leverage for the times you've tried
To give a final answer to the question that bothered my mind

Sunshine
It's living in the mind, in the mind
Track Name: Joan
Joan
Where did the magic go?
It is so tragic when I know
You're barely legal Joan
It felt so evil Joan

Joan
I'm lost and lonely Joan
I hope I won't end up alone
My one and only Joan
I hope I won't end up alone
Joan

Joan
Don't feel so frantic Joan
It felt romantic all night long
You're really special Joan
Just don't go mental Joan

Joan
I'm lost and lonely Joan
I hope I won't end up alone
My one and only Joan
I hope I won't end up alone
Joan
Track Name: Ellen
Ellen hit me in the back
And then she told me to relax
And she said,
"Hey man, can we just stay friends?"
And I was really quite in shock
I think she didn't give a fuck
So I said,
"Amen. Whatever's fine then."

I tell myself:
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
No oh oh oh
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
No oh oh oh

Ellen asked me to a drink
As I was visiting my shrink
And I said,
"Hey man, I'll meet you in ten."
And I was feeling quite morose
As I was getting really close
And then I saw them,
She brought this girlfriend

I tell myself:
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
No oh oh oh
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
No oh oh oh

Losing a lover
In bleak, bleak weather
I'm a deflated balloon
I melt like butter
in cruel summer
My blood is turning maroon
I run for the hills and hide
'cos the thought of her kisses will make me die

Ellen told me it's okay
'Cos all along well she was gay
Well she said,
"Hey dude, I think I'm lesbian."

And I was feeling really glum
And I was reaching for a gun
Until the girls said,
"How about a threesome?"

Yeah yeah yeah yeah
No oh oh oh
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
No oh oh oh
Track Name: Swimmers (Heart & Mind)
Heart and mind
What have you been doing?
Repressing me all the time

Heart and mind
But all the things you've said
were great and fine, fine fine
Oh my heart and mind

Lost and found
The lovers I've gathered
They're swimming the final mile

Lost and found
but never really back inside
my heart and mind
Oh my heart and mind

I swim the rivers and the oceans of my sadness
I'll never sink or be defeated by this madness
It's all illusion so you better think of something
else you would love

Telltale signs
in every endeavour
Appear so I check the files

I have found
That all the things you've said
were clever lines, lines, lines
from your heart and mind

But in your eyes
I'm getting emotions and
oceans of tears and lies

You've returned
But never really back inside
my heart and mind
Oh my heart and mind

I jump to the water
And swim past the tides
I swim towards the altar
To my black-hearted bride

You are such a riot
Though it's quite a quiet affair
I'll keep you in my pocket
As we rocket to'rds our lair
We're just two lovers
We're dressed up in dreams
Track Name: You're So Cruel, Stephanie
She was a twenty-year-old
She was a time bomb
She was a Japanese bitch
And she was one of them

She is a reptile
She's a nymph and she is sinister
I don't believe in love
Let's kill the minister

Let's burn her effigy
Like she's Joan of Arc
Enough of moments
Holding hands in the park

'Cos you're so cruel, Stephanie
Get out of my heart
'Cos you're so cruel, Stephanie
Get out of my heart

She was a twenty-year-old
She was a virgin
She was a massacre
with her perfume on

She is the devil and the saint
Upon my banister
I don't believe in love

Let's burn her effigy
Like she's Joan of Arc
Enough of moments
Holding hands in the park
Track Name: Art School Lover (Death to Ordinary Girls)
Are all her clothes in shades of black-and-white
And can she play the bassoon?
Does she watch cartoons?

Death to ordinary girls
I want someone from another world
You're all I need my art school lover

Is she weird and does she talk about
Something else aside from bags
Does she wear nametags?
Death to ordinary girls
I want someone who likes The Carpenters
You're all I need my art school lover
Because you're my forever summer

Oooh...for every Halloween
She dresses up as Sigmund Freud
I can't believe what's happening
She's happening, my eccentric girl

Does she hang out in the library,
review the movies of Truffaut?
She into UFOs?

Death to ordinary girls
I want someone whose name's not Jennifer
You're all I need my art school lover

I hope she doesn't dance to R&B
I hope she really hates cars
and hangin' out in bars

Death to ordinary girls
I want someone who's into Salinger
You're all I need my art school lover
Because you're my forever summer
Track Name: Volcanoes (The Ones Named After You)
I needed sympathy
You gave me a review
I gained the power
And the need for something new
I dream of holidays
The ones named after you
Do you feel the same way too?
Do you feel the same way too?

I’ll eat the magic
And the music in your eye
Forget the logic
And we’ll never say goodbye
I dream of sunken ships
The ones named after you
Do you feel the same way too?
Do you feel the same way too?

All I’m afraid of is the lonely life
I’ve got to find myself a lovely wife
Baby, all I want is you
You really got me
Oh yes, it’s true

I have a sadness that is cold as ice
I’ve got to find myself somebody nice
Baby, all I want is you
You really got me
Oh yes, it’s true

You are my symphony
When running out of juice
You grant me powers
You’ll forever be my muse
I dream of heavy rains
The ones named after you
Do you feel the same way too?
Do you feel the same way too?

You’ll be my Guinevere
I’ll be the son of Zeus
If you’re my mirror
Then I’ll never be confused
I dream volcanoes
The ones named after you
Do you feel the same way too?
Do you feel the same way too?

All I’m afraid of is the lonely life
I’ve got to find myself a lovely wife
Baby, all I want is you
You really got me
Oh yes, it’s true

I have a sadness that is cold as ice
I’ve got to find myself somebody nice
Baby, all I want is you
You really got me
Oh yes, it’s true